Second Chances
by MorningGlory2
Summary: "From here he could take in the two women in his life, one past, one present, both evoking a sensation in his chest he couldn't explain. The fact that they were blending together so well was the best gift he could have ever asked for. And it was only half past eight in the morning. This day could only get better, he decided." -Where Bucky spends Christmas with Natasha and Kobik.


**A/N: This was written for the BuckyNat Secret Santa on Tumblr! This is my first time writing Bucky, Natasha, and Kobik and after much deliberation, the help of the amazing MidnightWings96 (who saved BuckyNat Christmas!) and Team Damon's encouragement, I'm pretty excited to post this! It takes place a bit after Black Widow #9 in the comics and contains some spoilers.**

 **Daddy!Bucky feels coming your way... :D**

 **Thanks for reading!**

* * *

Laughter roused Bucky Barnes from an abnormally long sleep. He couldn't remember the last time he had been allowed more than a few hours of sleep, thanks to nightmares or a mission in the works. Or the inability to turn his brain off. That might be the guiltiest of causes, if he was honest. But it seemed that the surprise visit to Natasha Romanoff's apartment had changed that. 'Like old times,' he thought to himself with a soft smile growing on his lips.

Running a hand over the short beard on his face and through his long hair, he pulled himself up and from her bed. The sheets were not nearly as askew as he remembered them to be, no broken lamps or dented walls. He did notice then that the headboard was cracked slightly down the middle and that made his smile stretch wider. Had that been there before? Maybe some things never changed. And maybe the need to be quiet in order to not wake the apartment's other occupant had made things even more intense than he would have thought. Something in the way their sounds would have normally let them know just what they were feeling, the silence allowed for shared looks, heated gasps, the smile that would grace her lips when he hit a spot deep within her that would make her dig her fingernails into his back and bite back a moan she felt at her very core. The fact that she had let him kiss her the night before at all-Christmas Eve-and then only encouraged him to take her to bed and show her just how much he had missed her...he couldn't allow himself to think it was only one-sided. And today he vowed not to let his fears control his emotions.

It was Christmas and he was right where he wanted to be.

He pulled on a pair of sweatpants he had packed, and a long sleeved tee shirt. It had been years since he'd celebrated Christmas, but wasn't one supposed to wear their pajamas in the morning to open presents? Wondering how Natasha and Kobik were getting along without him, having only met the night before, he emerged from the bedroom after quickly brushing his teeth and pulling his long, tangled hair back. He had Natasha to thank for the tangles, he smiled to himself.

The light in the kitchen and the sound of low volume Christmas music lead him down the hallway. He was pulled to a stop by the sight before him. Natasha had Kobik on a stool at the kitchen counter, and the little silver-haired girl was happily stirring a bowl of batter as she laughed at something between just the two of them. Natasha had one of the softest smiles on her face that he had ever seen. Bucky would be lying if he said it didn't make his heart ache with an emotion he had long pushed away when it came to the red-haired woman currently leaning over the hot stove.

"Bucky!" Kobik exclaimed, the first to see him. "Bucky, we are making pancakes! Natasha is teaching me!"

Bucky couldn't help but smile at the girl. If she didn't make someone smile, he couldn't trust them. Her heart was full of joy. She had encaptured his heart with her loyalty and her light hearted giggles. Even though she wasn't entirely a real girl, he never gave that a thought in anything other than protecting her. She was a child to him. And over the course of time they had been together, she had begun to feel like _his_ child. One he never thought he would get to have.

"She is?" Bucky glanced at Natasha, who had looked up at Kobik's greeting. She was appraising him, he could immediately tell as he felt the heat of her gaze sliding down his body. He went to Kobik first, surveying the bowl of batter and the girl's happy smile. "What kind?" He asked curiously, glancing at Natasha once more before looking back to Kobik.

"These are chocolate chip! But regular ones are on the stove! And we are making blueberry ones next!"

Her enthusiasm was contagious and he gave her pigtail an affectionate quirk before turning to peer at the stove. The pancakes did smell quite good and he was very hungry.

"I read somewhere that they were your favorite," Natasha told him quietly as he made the small step to her side. The statement struck him. Read it somewhere? Where would such a thing be written? He didn't have time to question it further before she moved on, "And my helper told me you liked chocolate." She glanced at Kobik, who was avidly nodding. Bucky felt a warmth wash over him.

"Well, they are my favorite and I do like chocolate," he confirmed with a small laugh before a large cup of coffee was thrust gently into his hands. The aroma assaulted him and he took a sip immediately.

"Go sit," Natasha encouraged him, "My kitchen isn't big enough for the three of us." She swatted him away with what he knew was a genuine smile, and he stepped around the small island to take a seat at her four-person kitchen table.

From here he could take in the two women in his life, one past, one present, both evoking a sensation in his chest he couldn't explain. The fact that they were blending together so well was the best gift he could have ever asked for. And it was only half past eight in the morning. This day could only get better, he decided.

* * *

Natasha did not cook. And she did not bake, or spend mornings in her pajamas. And she certainly didn't entertain children and enjoy it.

Yet, here she was: cooking pancakes, sipping on coffee in her soft red plaid pannts and a black henley, and thoroughly enjoying Kobik's company. She was cooking pancakes, sipping on coffee in her soft red plaid pants and a black henley, and she was thoroughly enjoying Kobik's company. She didn't know the whole story behind how Bucky had ended up with the small child, or the cosmic cube that was now a child, but she didn't need to. That wasn't important right now. What was important was the girl's laughter as she sang along to songs she really didn't know, and the way she was desperate to please Natasha and in turn, please Bucky with the pancakes. Just as a daughter would wish to please her father. Natasha found it utterly adorable. And it made her laugh at herself. She would not have thought she would have ever found anything about this charming, but this little girl and her heart of gold had somehow managed to worm her way into Natasha's guarded heart.

When Barnes had showed up at her door the evening before, with a small pack and the child in tow, 'surprised' hardly covered how she'd felt. He'd said it was Christmas and no one spent Christmas alone. But she knew the deeper meaning. He'd wanted to spend Christmas with _her_. Her and his Kobik.

He had confessed to her of her memories, the ones never recovered after her memory was wiped. And she just knew from the look on his face, the pain in his eyes, that they were true. And then Fury had confirmed it. She'd disappeared to process, to think about everything Barnes had told her. He'd given her time, didn't contact her, and didn't go after her. She appreciated that. Knowing all they had shared, and that he carried the burden alone for years...it was tragic and romantic and so many things she didn't see in herself. But the more she looked at him, the more she saw why she would have fallen for him, for everything he had been and everything he was now.

Natasha poured herself a cup of coffee, taking a minute to sip it and flip the pancakes as Kobik told Bucky about Frosty the Snowman. Their night together had been unlike anything she'd experienced. Bucky knew everything about her, every spot, every curve. He knew just what would make her gasp and what would make her silently scream. Natasha suspected she might have actually screamed had little ears not been down the hall. It had been...eye-opening. She hadn't anticipated it and she didn't regret it. It wasn't often, hardly ever, that she was close to a person, but of all people to get close to, she knew Bucky was worth it.

Putting the fresh pancakes on plates, she turned and carried two plates to the table, one for him and one for Kobik. She would eat as she cooked the rest, suspecting that two pancakes would never satiate Bucky's super soldier appetite. He watched her with curious blue eyes when she didn't sit, but he seemed to endlessly understand her in a way she couldn't comprehend. It only added to her sureness that they shared something special.

Kobik kept them entertained through breakfast, and Natasha could clearly see Bucky's devotion to the child. She was happy, full of laughter and was clearly enchanted by Bucky in the way a daughter adores her father. They shared sweet moments, from the way Bucky cut up Kobik's pancakes to the way he wiped her cheeks when she was finished. Natasha could not have hidden her smile even if she had tried.

"Did you thank Natasha for teaching you to cook the pancakes?" Bucky asked Kobik as the young child stood from her chair, ready to bound off into the living room where Natasha had animated Christmas movies playing for the girl.

Kobik turned to Natasha with a bright smile as she finally took a seat across from Bucky. The pancakes were finished and another full cup of coffee was before them both. "Thank you, Natasha! Now I can make pancakes for Bucky on my own!"

"We'll see about you going near the stove, little one," he told her with a chuckle, but it was softhearted and Natasha chuckled along with him.

"I can do it! I'll show you!" Kobik headed for her little pack of toys spilled out on Natasha's living room carpet. She wished for a moment that she'd known they were coming so she could have gotten the child a Christmas present.

"She's cute," Natasha spoke to Bucky, her eyes on the child.

"She is. She's a great kid," he told her, his eyes on Kobik as well before they settled on Natasha. "Thank you for cooking with her."

"It was my pleasure. We both enjoyed it," Natasha assured him, sipping her coffee and turning her green eyes back on him. "I'm glad you came, and that you brought her. I didn't get to prepare much though," she admitted with a half-smile.

"I liked the element of surprise better than giving you a heads up," he conceded, leaning back in his chair and bringing the mug to his lips, "besides, we don't need much. The pancakes were more than enough," he patted his full stomach for emphasis and she laughed a little, shaking her head.

"So easy to please," she smiled and she could see the wheels turning behind his eyes.

"Am I?" Bucky knew when it came to her, he was.

"Well, I am still getting my bearings about you but so far," she replied, her smile still intact. "And I'm a quick learner."

"Always have been," was Bucky's uncomplicated reply as his eyes were steady on hers. And he meant it, she always had been a fast learner. In training and with him. Ever since their first days together in the Red Room, she had met and exceeded any expectations he'd had for her in training. She was smart, quick, had an eye for her partner's weakness. And in him, she had always known just what he needed. Whether it was comfort or intimacy, she had known him better than he knew himself. She had always amazed him.

"How long are you planning to stay?" She asked the inevitable question, drawing him out of his nostalgic reverie. He took a breath. He hadn't gotten that far yet.

"You going somewhere?" He turned the questioning on her for a moment, curious of her plans before he answered of his own.

"I have a few things I need to do," Natasha admitted, "but nothing urgent."

"So maybe we'll stay until tomorrow? It is Christmas, after all. And I told Kobik you might make cookies with her," he gave her a rueful smile at his words.

"Cookies? James, you act like I am very domestic," she laughed, growing more comfortable in his presence with every passing moment.

"Well, who just made us flawless pancakes for breakfast? I think you're more domestic than you'd like to admit." He went on to remind her, "Besides, she's never had a real Christmas. And Christmas is about cookies, and milk, Christmas carols and Santa. It's about family. I'm the only family she's got, if you can even call it that, and by extension that brings you in...And I know you can make an easy batch of sugar cookies...," Bucky hoped his confidence in her was working. He could see her working it through behind those green eyes.

"Thank you for coming here." The words spoke to him in a way he couldn't explain; he felt a spark of something he thought he had long since lost. He had felt the same spark the night before, but in the the midst of passion it was a different kind of spark between them. This spark made him ache and yearn for more.

"No place else I wanna be," he told her honestly as his eyes locked on hers. "Thank you for having us. We're both having a great time," his eyes flickered to the child, who was on her back, watching the movie upside down and waving two toys in the air.

"Hard to think she's not a real little girl," Natasha chuckled a little as they watched Kobik act just as a little four year old child would. Bucky's responding smile was the most genuine thing she thought she had ever seen.

"Yeah. But she's a child in every way that counts-purity, innocence. It's all there. She's seen more than she ever should, has done more than anyone should have ever made her do. I'm not letting any more bad happen to her," his tone was fierce and protective, and Natasha had no doubt he'd fight to the death to protect the little cosmic cube child before them.

"Sounds like you two have a lot more in common than I thought," Natasha replied, words understanding and full of empathy.

"So do you two." Natasha knew all of the horrors he did. It was something they shared as well, something that had brought them closer than two people of their situation thought they could ever be.

Mutual understanding was sometimes everything in a relationship.

"Bucky-Buckaroo! Can we open our presents now?!" The subject of their conversation was at their side at once, bouncing on her toes and shaking his arm with such excitement it made him laugh at the startle.

Natasha really wished she'd had more time to prepare. Damn Barnes for no heads up.

"All right, all right. Let me get my bag. Take Nat to the couch," Bucky instructed Kobik with a sly smile sent Natasha's way. While she grappled with the look, Kobik was at her side at once.

"Come on, Natasha! You have a present to open!" Kobik took Natasha's hand in her small one, and Natasha was once again surprised by the genuine smile that crossed her own cheeks and the way she let the child pull her up.

"A present?" She managed out and Kobik's excited smile made warmth rush through her veins.

"Of course. It's Christmas and Bucky said on Christmas we get presents," she explained as she took Natasha to the couch and they sat down together. Natasha remembered the little girl had yet to celebrate Christmas. And Natasha could hardly remember the last time she had celebrated it.

Bucky emerged from her bedroom with his black bag, looking slightly more nervous than she would have thought. Furrowing her brow, she held Kobik's hand that was currently gripping her own in a vice hold, and watched as the man took a seat in the chair across from them and opened his bag.

Bucky took a breath as he pulled out the red Santa hat and stood to deposit it on Kobik's head, who dissolved into giggles. "Bucky, I'm not Santa," she squealed with laughter, the hat large on her little head and slipping down over her pigtails to almost cover her eyes. He actually wished he'd had a camera.

Natasha agreed with Kobik's sentiment and gently took the hat from her silver hair and carried it back to Bucky, who was pulling out two wrapped gifts. He huffed in surprise when she pulled out the elastic in his long hair and dropped the felt, furry hat down on his head.

"You're giving out the presents, you get to play Santa," she told him quietly, letting her finger slip down his cheek and over his jaw before returning to her seat. With a lopsided smile, he kept the hat on if only to satisfy her. And to keep the beautiful smile on her face.

"Fine, I'll be Santa," he agreed, giving woman and child their wrapped gifts. Only one for each, but it was about quality not quantity for him. "Kobik, you can go first," he told her, eyeing Natasha, who nodded in agreement and was still stunned that Bucky had even gotten her a gift.

Kobik tore into her little wrapped gift like a tornado through a field and squealed again when the ripped paper revealed a shimmery stuffed unicorn. She was up and hugging Bucky happily within mere seconds, squishing the unicorn between them. He hugged her back gently but tight, feeling Natasha's eyes on them. He briefly wondered what she was thinking as Kobik pulled away and went back to the couch to watch Natasha open her own present.

The small square box sat in Natasha's lap, and she was sure Bucky had wrapped it himself. The thought struck her and a tender smile graced her lips as she began to pull back the paper.

"We had to stop on the way to get it for you!" Kobik excitedly revealed as Natasha tore the paper down to the white box. Bucky gave her a slight look of warning at revealing too much information and Kobik closed her mouth, looking as if she was trying to keep a large secret but desperately wanted to tell.

Bucky had told her small snippets of how important Natasha was to him and of their history, and had let Kobik help pick out the gift. And while he knew Natasha was not one for monetary or material things, he hoped she would appreciate the small gift and think of him through it. He'd spent so many years without her, without telling her how he still felt, and while he still hadn't divulged those words, he knew she knew. And he hoped the gift further cemented that thought in a nonthreatening way.

Looking at Bucky curiously for a moment, she opened the box with care and worked to push back the tissue. Kobik was practically bouncing up and down next to her as Natasha finally spied the small gold item within the confines of the white tissue paper.

Pulling out the antique music box, she marveled at the intricate designs along the round base and the colors that adorned it. With a look of awe, she opened the top and the small ballerina stood up and began to spin in a pirouette to a the Swan Lake theme she was sure she had danced to over the years.

"James, it's...," Natasha trailed off, looking up to find his blue eyes on her so intensely that she had to fight to not get lost in them. She knew that look, knew that expression, knew what he was carrying in his eyes. She'd seen it a few times before, but had never known what it meant. Now it all made sense to her. All those years, the times he'd shown up out of the blue, his concern for her, him being her 'guardian angel'. She hadn't needed it but yet there he had always been. Now she knew why. In the dark in her bed the night before it had been a little harder to see, but in the sunlight shining through her curtains, it was the most visible thing in the world. It made her shiver and blush deeply. "I love it. It's remarkable."

"It's from Paris!" Kobik blurted out, jarring the moment in a way that neither Bucky nor Natasha could complain about. There would be time for them to talk later.

"Paris, huh?" Natasha grinned, looking down at Kobik, who was clearly pleased by Natasha's reaction to the gift.

"You guys went there once, Bucky told me! You danced in the rain, and he kissed you!"

Bucky's face turned a shade of red Natasha had yet to see on him, and she suspected that information hadn't been meant for sharing just yet. It was a story she had yet to hear, but one she suspected she would like. Very much.

"Sounds romantic," Natasha locked eyes with Bucky again for a moment, burning his flush and embarrassment to memory.

"It was," he told her with conviction and a nod, and a small smile tugging at his lips.

She opened her mouth to tell him how she wished she remembered it, but nothing came out. She wished she did, wished she remembered everything of who they were like he did, but it seemed she never would. At least she had him to tell her those things; thankfully she had that.

Bucky filed away Natasha's reaction to the gift and Kobik's outburst to think about later. She liked the gift, and she didn't seem rattled over Paris. Maybe she'd want to know more. He'd tell her anything. He remembered everything.

Kobik was on the floor before he could say more, introducing the unicorn to its stuffed friends. It allowed both Natasha and Bucky a moment to silently recover.

"Thank you, James," she told him sincerely, gathering up the pieces of paper. She wished she had a gift for him.

"I'm glad you like it." He stood to help her gather the wrapping paper and take it to the trash. They parted ways as he returned his bag to her room and she went about beginning to prepare them dinner. Each stole small glances as Bucky settled on the carpet to play pretend with Kobik, given the role of playing the brown stuffed bear, and Natasha cooked an old Russian recipe for dinner, and somehow it all seemed domestic enough for them to forget their worries for a while.

* * *

Long after dinner, fresh baked sugar cookies made by Natasha and Kobik, and another Christmas movie, the three of them were cuddled on the couch. Kobik had her head on Bucky's shoulder and her hand in Natasha's. Bucky's heart ached at taking the child home the next morning. He knew she'd had a rather enjoyable day with the Black Widow, and he couldn't have asked for a better reception of the child in Natasha. A new dynamic to their past, or rather a new dynamic for their future. He had Kobik and Natasha knew a little bit more about when they had been together.

Natasha wasn't ready for this to end. She wasn't ready for Bucky to go, and she certainly didn't want to say goodbye to Kobik. If only there was a way to make all of this work. Was there? She wished for an answer but nothing came to her. How could an assassin and a spy, both so very involved in their own worlds, come together? It was all very complicated and Natasha wasn't sure they could figure it out tonight even if they wanted to.

She also wasn't sure she was ready to talk about how she felt about James just yet.

They sat in silence as the credits rolled and the little girl slept, each lost in their own thoughts.

"I should get her to bed," Bucky finally spoke in a hushed tone, not wanting to wake Kobik. Natasha nodded and released her hand.

"She had a long day," she smiled at the child, who barely sighed as Bucky shifted her into his arms.

"She had a _great_ day," he amended with a tender smile meant only for Natasha. He picked Kobik up with ease and settled her against his chest.

"Meet you in the bedroom?" Natasha asked, unable to look away from Bucky as he held the girl against him, all father and all strength in his new role that she'd been unaware of until recently. It was a mesmerizing sight and she knew that if she didn't look away soon, she'd be done for.

What she didn't yet consciously realize was that she already was.

Bucky was surprised by her words, but nodded immediately. He hadn't anticipated sleep so soon, but maybe sleep wasn't what Natasha was looking for. With a faint smile, he turned and carried Kobik to the guest room.

Settling her into bed, he ran his large hand over her forehead before covering her up with the blanket. She nestled underneath the blanket, the smallest of smiles on her lips. Knowing she'd had a good day left Bucky feeling a little lighter than usual. He wanted nothing more than to give her joy.

Taking a breath, Bucky whispered a goodnight to Kobik before closing the door and heading down the hall to Natasha's bedroom.

He found Natasha in her bathroom, combing the red hair that consumed his dreams. He leaned against the doorway, hands in his pockets and watched her unabashedly.

"Yes, soldier?" Natasha glanced at him with a slight grin, dropping the comb back into a drawer and turning toward him. Bucky could read the almost playfulness in her demeanor and took to think she'd had a good day too, just like Kobik.

"Nothin'," Bucky replied with a shrug, relishing in the way she called him 'soldier' and the way she seemed content. He extended his right hand and she came to him easily, allowing him to draw her back into her room.

"Doesn't seem like nothing," Natasha chanced in her reply, searching his face for an emotion she needed to know was there. And she found just what she was looking for in the tenderness in his blue eyes.

"Well, it's far from nothing but we don't have to go there tonight," he assured her, his hands landing on her waist as he drew her close. Her hands settled onto his biceps, comfortable as she smiled at the difference in his flesh muscle and his contoured, metal one.

"Thank you for my present. For today. For coming here," Natasha told him openly, looking down for a moment, gathering herself before looking back up to his eyes. "And for last night. It's nice to feel wanted," she confessed, the never-ending loneliness weighing on her mind. Maybe it _wouldn't_ be never-ending now.

"You're always wanted, Tasha," he murmured with utter sincerity, voice low and gentle. And, oh, how he meant those words.

"Well...when you keep things like that a secret...," she mused quietly, drawing a smile from the man before her.

"I'm sorry for that," he was quick to tell her, chewing his lip for a moment. "I'm gonna work to make up for that," he promised, his hands tightening at her waist. He hoped they weren't going down a road they couldn't come back from-was she upset with him still?

"You are?" The way her smile broke across her face told him she wasn't harboring anything against him. He knew he had unintentionally hurt her with his secrets. He hadn't meant to, thought he had been saving her grief. But he had kept secrets. Big ones.

"I am," he assured her, pushing her lightly to take a step back, then another, his voice low and gravelly. "If you'll let me."

"Is that why you're here?"

He could hear the unsureness in her voice. "I'm here because I wanted to spend Christmas with the only woman I consider family besides the little girl down the hall," he told her truthfully, his gaze never wavering. "Making up for lost time..."

"I think you have a lot of time to make up for, James," the smile that stayed on her face told him everything he needed to know.

"A lot?" He bantered, pushing her back against the wall gently and trapping her there with his arm and his much larger body. His own smile turned mischievous and wanting.

"Mhmm," was all she replied with, finally letting her guard down as her hands slid up his chest.

"Tasha...," Bucky murmured as he dipped his head closer to hers, just breaths from her lips.

"Yes, James?" She seemed almost annoyed he was still talking, chuckling to herself in a huff.

"Merry Christmas," he told her quietly, nudging her nose with his own. She relaxed into him, palms unfurling on his chest.

"Merry Christmas, James," she closed the distance between them herself, taking his lips in a kiss of sheer need, their immediate connection entirely igniting her mind and body from its heat.

They both could feel it as his hands dropped to her waist again and he pulled her tightly against him, wrapping her up in his arms. Her hands were in his hair soon after, pulling it just enough to tell him to hold her a little tighter.

Bucky knew then that his present was her. The opportunity to explore this with her all over again. Sliding a hand into her soft waves and deepening their heated kiss, he knew he would absolutely take this chance and protect it with everything he had. Second chances didn't happen twice.

Christmas hadn't always been joyful for him, and was often far from it, but he hoped the years ahead would be different. This one had been the best so far, thanks to the love of his life and the sweet little girl sleeping soundly down the hall. Here was to hoping next year's only topped it.


End file.
